An honest blog on a ‘stay at home working mama’s life’

So I’ve been wanting to write this blog for a while and feel like now we’re in full on toddler mode life is definitely a little hectic and I feel like I’ve managed to get our routine in a good place for that stay at home / working mama balance..

So firstly I know every mum feels like their life is pretty hectic, whether you’re a working mum and have to organise everything around your working hours so that everyone’s fed and watered and in bed and happy… as well as the stay at home mum who feels the pressure to teach their children everything that all the kids at nursery are learning.. it’s crazy, I know!

So whether you’re a new mum reading this wanting an insight into what life could be like when you start working again or if you’re a mum with older kids struggling to balance life.. here’s how we make things work.. there’s no right way to this motherhood thing!..

So firstly it’s about YOU! When do you fit your time in? Because you are number one here (Ok I know baby is no1 but you need to be happy for your little human to thrive). Now we are in a good routine and Gabriel goes to bed at a good time I spend my evenings working out, taking a shower, face mask, pampering… I give myself an hour and a half each evening for me!

Baby.. I make sure that every day we plan an activity to do.. whether it’s a playgroup, soft play, messy play, library visit, class.. we normally do an activity in the morning time so that when Gabriel naps we are at home and I can quickly catch up on emails and phone calls before he wakes again and then after his nap we’ll either play in the garden or we’ll go to our local park (if it’s a nice day) or we’ll just stay at home and play, read books, puzzles etc.

When do I work? I like to give Gabriel my whole attention when we are playing or if we go anywhere in the day time.. so work time I squeeze it in first thing in the morning (Gabriel will happily play in his room in the mornings between 6-7am so I spend this time writing lists, planning posts, writing content) and then when he has his nap I will sit down and send emails and make phone calls and then once if had my ‘me time’ in the evening I then sit down and do some more work…. so I probably give myself 4-5 hours each day to work.

I think routine is key when you’re having to work from home and look after a toddler.. life certainly hasn’t been this crazy before and the newborn days are definitely so much easier now I look back.. you get so much more time to sit down and cuddle your baby whilst sat on your laptop or phone.. where as now they need so much more attention and you’re running around after them and also having to teach them so much!

How do you find the balance? I love to know!

How I’m always ‘High on life!’

As human beings we’re all programmed naturally to talk about what’s going on in our lives.. whether that’s moaning about our partners, talk about family illnesses, money troubles, childcare worries etc and sometimes everything can get a little negative!!

If we talk about all the good things going on in our lives we seem to be ‘bragging’ or ‘boasting’ so we avoid certain conversations just to stay on the safe side…

Well I want to break this cycle.. we should talk about all the great things going on in our lives because that’s what makes us happy and that’s what reminds us that our lives are pretty darn good after all. I’ve been through some pretty terrible times in my life and I’ve also experience the highest of moments, like buying our first home, finding my soul mate, having my rainbow baby come into this world and having two successful self made businesses! So when you have so many exciting things in the pipe line it’s super exciting and we should be so so proud of what we achieve and not feel like we have to burry our heads in the sand!

What do you love about your life?

I love that I can do what I want every day.. my job is super flexible, I can plan fun things to do with Gabriel all day or I can knuckle down and get more events and clients planned. I love my little family and know I have found someone special to have my babies with, I am proud of our home that we have built but I’m also excited to buy a bigger house soon and build what we have, watch our businesses grow and perhaps some more businesses will be appearing very soon… (but that’s top secret)

Be high on life because you only get one chance!

Haters are cute little reminders that you’re the bomb!

Well I have never experienced the world of cyber bullying until very recently and normally when you think of cyber bully’s you think of old creepy men behind a keyboard with nothing better to do other than send girls nasty message to make them feel insecure about themselves because they are sad and lonely.. but for me this was different.

These bullies were actually two girls who had a similar business to my own who were accusing me of copying their blog posts, stealing their followers and replicating their brand.. Firstly can someone tell me how I steal followers when I am blocked?.. blog posts??? Say what!!?? And if I open a sushi bar would all the other sushi bars be mad? Or if I started a blog about cars would all the other car bloggers hate me?? I think not!!

When you see a business and want to be part of it because you’re inspired and know you could make money from it and earn a living for your family and put your own stamp on it and make it even better.. because let’s face it they weren’t the ones who created the idea.

So then instead of empowering one another and focusing on their own goals and ambitions they start to attempt to bring you down.. messaging your contacts and writing public posts with lies and accusations which are untrue. Women shouldn’t ever do this to one another and I can honestly say I’ve never experienced this in my life… the world is so big, competition is good and healthy but only when we are inspiring one another.. not using each other as punching bags and trying to bring people down because let’s face it.. they’re only bringing themselves down. What do they say ‘Haters are cute little reminders that you’re the bomb! ain’t that they truth!

Empower one another girls, all of my businesses are all about collaborations and helping women succeed at whatever they’re doing, if a brand approaches me wanting to collaborate or needs my help I’m going to help them, I’m not going to say ‘Sorry I can’t work with you because you’ve worked with them’ and I’m also not going to purposely poach someone else’s clients.

Be kind girls.

Life with a toddler

So Gabriel is now well and truly in the toddler phase.. what is the toddler phase you say? I’d say once they are properly walking/toddling around.. Gabriel didn’t start walking until he was between 16/17 months old but he’s loving it now and is also climbing up everything. He’s also talking so much more, making animal noises, telling me when he wants a bath and if he wants food.

I can’t believe how quickly they learn all these things and how in another few months he will be two.. it makes me definitely think about when we should try and give him another sibling, I think now he is also sleeping through the night I don’t feel like I have a baby anymore.. whereas before it was a massive NO GO because he was waking every 1-2 hours up until a few weeks ago. But at the same time I have some time to myself back again which is so so nice and I’m getting around 6/7 solid hours of sleep at night which I never imagined would be possible (if you would have asked me 3 weeks ago).

Day to day life is definitely a little more crazy as now he is developing so much and wanting to learn I feel like every day I need to be planning something for him to enjoy along with my work and all the other general life errands and jobs, it’s all fun though and I wouldn’t have it any other way, every day brings new adventures and I’m obsessed with watching him grow and develop.

I do feel like there is always that pressure when you have a baby/toddler with you at home 24/7 that you should be sending them to nursery because it seems like most mums send their kids to nursery… but the truth is children thrive by being with their mama’s and also going to a nursery, every child is different and every family is different… no way is right and as long as us stay at home mama’s are doing plenty of activities for our little ones and getting them to socialise and interact with other children we are all doing amazing jobs.. no one should be telling one mother how to do something and vise versa.

What a mama really wants for Mother’s Day

Ok so most of us mama’s just want to have family time, a little rest and a cup of coffee brought up to us in the morning and perhaps just to be able to get ready in peace..

But you men know that us women hold the fort together day-to-day, cook, clean, work, keep their small human/s alive whilst also looking after themselves… So I think we deserve a little more when it comes to Mothers Day *I’m going to be tagging Ainslee in this post so he gets my SUBTLE hint* Mama’s feel free to tag your other halves too!!

So let’s start with some little treats and work our way up to the big £££ *its worth a shot hey?*

LUSH pamper products, whether it’s a bath bomb, face masque, body cream or bubble bath.. The staff are also super helpful in Lush so if you just tell them your wife/girlfriend needs pampering they’ll tell you exactly what we want!!

SWEATY BETTY workout gear.. who doesn’t love working out and looking great! Their leggings are a dream and Daddy’s if you want to go all out we’ll take a sports bra and jacket/top too! 🙋🏼‍♀️

MERCIMAMAN GIFTS are next up and I’m truly obsessed with these… If Ainslee got Gabriel’s name personalised into something from their website I would be stunned! Their jewellery is beautiful and lasts a lift time.

BOSE NOISE CANCELLING EAR BUDS … blessed with a baby that doesn’t sleep?… need I say anymore?

GHD CREATIVE CURLING WAND for any Mama who wants to feel good day-to-day but doesn’t have time to have a blow dry, I’m obsessed with this wand… Ainslee I hope you’re taking note!!

DYSON HAIR DRYER or DYSON AIR WRAP does your wife/girlfriend love hair?.. then make sure you pick up one of these for her.. you’ll be getting lucky for the rest of the week! Thank me later 💁🏼‍♀️😂

And finally now that #mumlife has taken over and you rarely get to wear heels because you’re always running around after a toddler.. a pair of designer trainers wouldn’t go a miss… Golden Goose Delux Brand are my favs at the minute but Gucci, balenciaga, Valentino or Fendi would also go down a dream.

DISCLAIMER: Guys if you buy your wifey any of these gifts expect unusual behaviour from the women in your life.. Increase in libido, public displays of affection, holding hands… need I say anymore!

(This blog posts just for fun guys)

2019 Goals

When it comes to goal setting and making sure you have an amazing year I feel like you need to stick to a few simple rules..

1. Plan things you have never done before but always wanted to.

2. Remember you are in control of your world when it comes to most situations (apart from health) so make sure you always think about the choices you are making and think about the potential outcomes.

3. Set yourself only a few goals and make sure they’re realistic.. small steps to success will get you to your dreams faster… think of it as climbing a staircase to the top instead of leaping to the top of a mountain.

So when it comes to my 2019 goals I always start by thinking what do I want to accomplish in the next 5 years.. whether it’s having more babies, moving to my dream home or running a marathon. Then I think about what I need to do to get myself to that place and start by planning some smaller things. So here are my goals for 2019.

1. As you have probably seen by my instastories I have just entered myself into doing Wilmslow Half Marathon, I feel like since having Gabriel and my body changing a lot (I used to be a lot leaner and fitter) I want to get back to a good fitness level again and also I find running a great way to clear my head and keep focussed. Maybe in 2020 you’ll see you doing a marathon 😅🙈

2. My second goal is to buy a bigger house (Get a bigger mortgage). At the end of 2018 we viewed a few houses in the Wilmslow area and we found our dream home.. a big project but it would be amazing if we could do it all up. So this year we are going to see a few mortgage brokers, see what we can afford and get the penny rolling with putting our current house up for sale. *Lets see where we end up*

3. Taking more time out for ‘me’.. I think this would be most Mama’s goals this year and I feel like giving myself a little bit more self love is sooo important, even if it’s just running myself a bath or booking myself a facial. I think if you feel good in yourself your happiness shines through.

4. Raising money for a couple of charities very close to home for me.. ever since we lost Sebastian I have always wanted to do something to thank the charity SANDS (who supported us when we initially lost our baby) and TOMMYS who supported us throughout our pregnancy with Gabriel. I never felt like I was in a good enough place to focus and raise money for these charities but now that I am in a stronger place (mentally) I feel like it’s time to give back… so watch this space.

5. And finally I would like to firstly thank everyone who has supported and joined my MAMA SOCIETY so far and secondly I can’t wait to see what 2019 has to hold for my new venture! I would like to have 6 locations across the UK by the end of 2019 and I believe that it’s about quality rather than lots of locations.. so you’ll find every venue is amazing and carefully chosen, amazing food, fantastic company and some awesome goody bags.

Have you set yourself any goals for 2019?

My favourite baby essentials (and beyond) after one year of being a Mama.

A year has been and gone and I feel like Gabriel will be going to school next time I blink.. I’m trying to really enjoy every moment, phase and ‘leap’ as I know nothing lasts forever and even though I still call him my baby, I know he is definitely, almost a toddler now and it’s just a little bit scary!

I have been so lucky that I have been able to spend this year at home with him and have only very recently been leaving him with my mum or Ainslee for a few hours hear and there so that he can start getting used to others as we are still exclusively breastfeeding he still wants to be near ‘Mummy’s Milk’ ALL the time.

But I wanted to share with you all some of my baby essentials that have got us through this magical year and these are things that have lasted us from birth until now.. so really are great value for money and quality as I feel when you’re a first time Mama you just get what you think you need and then end up having to get different things when they either arrive or when they move onto the next stage.

So here goes:

(Click all products for product links)

BABY MONITOR: Invest in a good quality baby monitor, one with a camera and sound. This will be your life line when you finally get your baby into a routine and can eventually get some alone time with your other half. Some monitors now have movement sensors attached to them and in my opinion this would only make you a paranoid Mama.. if you can see and hear them this is all you need. Ours is the Angelcare Baby Video Monitor and we picked it up from Mothercare whilst it was on offer (always look out for the offers).

CHANGING BAG: I will admit that I went a little crazy on the changing bag front whilst I was pregnant with Gabriel.. I am a bag lover and I knew this was going to be my new *side kick* so I wanted it to be gorgeous.. I ended up getting two bags, a Gucci one and a Tiba and Marl backpack and I wasted my money big time on the Gucci one.. it’s so small and impractical and when you have a baby to get in and out of the car (and now toddler) it’s just so much easier to have a backpack. My backpack is the Tiba + Marl X Selfridges Elwood Backpack with gold zips and it’s a serious game changer!!

COTBED: I have met so many Mama’s who ask me which cotbed I have.. Some say they went for a crib or smaller cot for when they transition their babies from your room into their own room and then they say that their babies are waking themselves up because they are hitting the bars from moving around at 9 months onwards and need more space. GO FOR A COT BED!! It’s normally only a little bit more expensive but SOOOO worth it as it will last them until around 4-5 years instead of having to get a new one at each stage.. also DON’T go for a sleigh bed as when they have the sides taken off (around 2-3 years) then can rock the bed and damage it (or hurt themselves) so opt for one that you can adjust the headboard.. ours is the Obaby White Cotbed

TRAVEL SYSTEM: When I think about how much I walk with Gabriel now I wish I had of known when purchasing Gabriel’s pram and done a little bit more research! You definitely get what you pay for when it comes to a travel system and if you’re planning on getting in the car more than you use your pram then I would say which ever pram you go for you will be fine… whereas if you are going to be doing some serious MILEAGE you need to go for one with BIG wheels, ours is the Urbo2 in Dark Grey from Mama’s and Papa’s (it’s no longer available as I got it when pregnant with Sebastian) but I wish I had got one like the Ocorro Explorer from Mamas and Papas as the wheels are so more sturdy and better for off road and long walks.

TOYS: Look for toys that have adaptations to them.. such as a baby swing that changes into a high chair, or we also have a baby walker that turns into a push along zebra and then turns into a scooter when he is older.. otherwise you end up spending your days buying the next stage up! (You will save a lot of money in the long term).

IPAD: This can be a little controversial I know.. but we actually bought Gabriel an iPad when he was 3 weeks old (not for him to use then obviously) but we keep it in his room to play ‘white noise’ during the night and also link it up to our BOSE speakers so he has his own Spotify with all his music on and just to keep everything in one place for him (all my devices are rammed with things for my work). This has been amazing as he now watches educational programmes on the CBBC app when we are in the car as he isn’t a very good traveller and as he gets older I’m sure he will use it more and more as we allow him to have allocated ‘screen time’

I hope this has helped you if you have a little baba or in the early stages of purchasing things for your new addition! My thought process when buying anything now is.. ‘How long will it last’ because even if it does cost a little more than the ‘right now’ option.. that little bit of extra £££ will save you a lot more £££££ in the long run!

The Reason Behind My 10 Minute Workouts

Hi guys!… so I’ve had a lot of questions about my workouts so thought I would pop it all into one place for you and answer as many questions as possible.

– So for me I have a baby this doesn’t sleep for more than 3 hour stretches at night so I find that in the day time I struggle to get motivated to get my butt off the sofa and workout.. So as well as walking everywhere to burn all the extra calories I just feel like on the days where I’m doing less exercise I just need a quick workout to get everything moving, feel the happy endorphins and feel like I’ve actually done something. I always feel so much happier when I’ve done exercise (so for me exercising every day is important).

– So for me doing these workouts for 10 days straight has definitely kept me motivated and each evening I sit with Ainslee and we talk about the next days workout which really helps me look forward to the next day and what I have planned… And it also puts into perspective that if you want to get something done you really can if you just plan ahead.

– Also this is the only way that Ainslee will help me workout 😂 He has no time for me around all his other clients and I’m always asking him to train me so normally he just tells me what I need to do and I have to remember but actually doing it and working out on my own isn’t always that fun.

– October for me is a tough month mentally (as it’s the anniversary of our angel baby) and it brings back a lot of memories so I have to keep focused and positive and I find exercise is the best way for me to keep happy so doing this everyday is just what I need!

If you are struggling to get moving post baby or if you just want to start to feel more active, 10 minutes is such a great way to keep fit! If you really work hard for those 10 minutes everyday that is all you need!!

Stillbirth Awareness Week

So there are so many ‘Mummy’ Instagram accounts out on the internet.. whether that be Mummy groups, Mummy Networking accounts or just general Mummy’s that you just love to follow… but what we don’t think about are who are actually following these accounts…? Most of the time its fellow Mums but there will also be so many girls following these accounts who long to have a baby and be part of these groups and networks but unfortunately they have lost their babies due to miscarriage or stillbirth…

I was once one of these girls and would read all the comments and stories of Mummy’s up at all hours but what I longed for was for my arms to be filled after loosing our baby through a stillbirth two years ago now.

I feel like this subject is so taboo and Mums who go through this horrific life changing experience need to talk more openly about what goes on and just how awful it truly is… can you imagine carrying your baby for months, to then have to give birth to your baby and walk away from the hospital with no baby??!! I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to go through what we went through… but the truth is that it happens every day.

I found that talking to others was the best thing to keep me going and share my thoughts with girls who have been through similar situations.. I would find when talking to others that it had actually happened to so many other girls whether that be a miscarriage or stillbirth themselves and they would be able to relate to my situation.. but how messed up is that? Why should we have to go through this in this day and age when science has come on so far? I ask myself this everyday but thankfully with the support from Tommy’s at St Mary’s hospital in Manchester they were able to give me the care I needed and made my next pregnancy as worry free as possible.

I mean I was a nervous wreck during my following pregnancy but they made me feel so reassured and did so many extra scans and checks to ensure everything was going to be okay this time round as well as ruling out any problems I could have with my body before getting pregnant again.. they were fantastic and I just wish more hospitals could do these extra checks throughout other girls pregnancies to prevent it from happening in the first place..

What are your thoughts on this debate and what do you think would be a great way to create more awareness?

‘It’s both of my babies birthdays next month!’

Oh wow.. I caught myself saying to Ainslee the other day ‘It’s both my babies birthdays next month!’ and it really made me realise that the last two years have really been life changing for us.. from starting our family by becoming pregnant with our angel baby Sebastian and giving birth to him stillborn to having the best medicine for me, my gorgeous rainbow baby Gabriel. And now it will be Sebastian’s 2nd birthday on 8th October and Gabriel’s birthday on 30th October.. some may say I got pregnant very quickly again but like I’ve said before Gabriel really was the best medicine for me! Who knows where I would be if it wasn’t for my rainbow 🌈.

Celebrating Sebastian’s Birthday

Every year we celebrate by being together on his birthday and we always set off a lantern and balloon with a little message from both of us… as the years go on we will always make sure Gabriel knows all about his brother and he can also send him messages if he wants to.

Celebrating Gabriel’s Birthday

It’s safe to say we have well and truly spoilt Gabriel already as he has bags full of presents on our room that I need to wrap and presents from family and friends already but I feel like his birthday will be a very emotional day for me.. at first I was wanting to throw him a party but then after thinking about it I think we are going to go to SeaLife centre for the day or something and just spend it with close family and just spoil him rotten ❤️ I think I’m going to be emotional for so many reasons… his brother who can’t be with us… what we went through to get to this point… my baby is growing up too quickly… I just want time to stop so we can enjoy him tiny forever!