My Third Trimester

I am now into week 35 of my pregnancy and I realised the other day that I hadn’t posted an update for almost 10 weeks… I couldn’t believe how fast that time had gone and also that I am almost at the very end of this pregnancy. A lot has happened in the third trimester… from decorating our nursery, our angel babies 1st birthday, my baby shower and also the general aches and pains that the third trimester brings, so I wanted to update you all.

How I have been feeling:

So its safe to say this trimester has been a crazy rollercoaster of emotions for me, once I got over the 26 week mark (where we had a previous still born) I felt like everything was going really well and I felt so well in myself compared to my previous pregnancy – I felt like this pregnancy was going as planned and the worrying from earlier on in the pregnancy had started to settle. Then as we got closer to our angel babies first birthday I was feeling very emotional, guilty and sad that I was having another baby and didn’t want Sebastian to think we had forgotten him… On his birthday it was actually the memorial service for all of the Angel Babies at the church where he was cremated so this made it especially sad for us and seeing a church full of parents (literally hundreds) who had also lost their babies really hit me hard and I know my pregnancy hormones wouldn’t have helped but it was a really hard week that week. The following week after Sebastian birthday was my baby shower… so I felt like I had to quickly snap into a different mind frame to be happy and positive and excited about this new baby… but every since Sebastians birthday I have just been filled with doubt that something is still going to happen to this baby again. Luckily the fact that I get to go to St Mary’s Rainbow Clinic every 2 weeks for a scan has helped me to be assured that this baby is doing really well and is now a whopping 6lbs already, but still I have so many concerns and worries going through my head every day.

I am also struggling with severe SPD which is agony on my pubic bone… so walking and climbing stairs is now very painful for me (I think it is so bad because I have been scared to exercise during this pregnancy, as last time I was still very active).. so I am literally counting down the days until baby arrives now so that I can start to feel a bit more normal again… I have also been blessed with major water retention haha! So my face, hands, legs and feet now feel double the size (the joys that pregnancy brings!) I think I feel more down about all of these things is because I still have doubt in my mind that something is going to wrong in this pregnancy… People keep saying to me it will all be worth it in the end (I won’t believe them until baby is actually here in my arms).

Now for something a little more positive..

Birth Plan:

I have been advised by my consultant at St Mary’s that I should have a c section – This is because Sebastian had a very bad brain haemorrhage whilst inside of me, I have since been tested for everything and nothing has come back but there is still a slight chance that it could happen again… So to avoid babies head having any unnecessary pressure they have said that a C section will be the best option. At first I was a little worried about this but all I want is for this baby to get here as safely as possible and also I have already gone through natural labour with Sebastian so I won’t feel like I’m missing out or upset that I haven’t been able to experience natural labour…This time its all about this baby!

Nursery:

Our Nursery is pretty much complete now apart from a few finishing touch.. we have gone for a really neutral design with hints of blue… All the walls are grey and then our furniture is white with lots of cosy blankets and furry rugs. Then we have pale blue photo frames, details and teddies in there to make it more personal. We almost have everything ready now and I have washed all of babies clothes and they are all hung up to dry so that I can get the hospital bag ready so that I feel prepared just incase we need to go in a little earlier than expected.

Baby Shower:

I had the most beautiful baby shower at Piccolino in Alderley Edge and I invited everyone I wanted to see before baby came. It was so nice to have everyone there because I have felt like I have been hibernating a little bit during this pregnancy and then I know I’ve seen everyone now and can plan lots of lovely things for when baby is here and I am able to get out and about again after my c sections (because you can’t drive for 6 weeks after) so I’m looking forward to seeing friends after Christmas.

Postnatal Exercise:

Im soooo looking forward to exercising again post pregnancy… I can’t wait to get out walking with the pram and I also have a baby carrier so that I can get out and be hands-free. I think for the first 6 weeks I will be trying to do as much walking as possible and then after the 6 weeks I will be getting my boyfriend to put together a training programme for me to help me regain my core and get stronger again… before finally going out running (which I can’t wait to do) once I am fully recovered… Because I need to loose a lot of weight!!!

We are also planning on doing some outdoor fitness classes for mum and babies as I know a lot of you are around the similar stage of pregnancy as me so it would be great to meet lots of you and get rid of our baby weight together!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my update and if any of you have any advice you would like to give or any baby essentials you couldn’t live without then I would love to know… Also if you want to ask me any questions, ask away!!!

 

 

Gender Reveal

I want to share with you all as much of my pregnancy as possible.. so basically we have been dying to find out if we are having a boy or a girl for such a long time. In my previous pregnancy I had a stillbirth and we lost our baby Sebastian so for me finding out in this pregnancy was so important because I felt that if I was going to be having a girl this time I would really have to get my head around it, whereas if we were going to have a boy I felt that it would help my grieving process slightly and we have everything in our house for a baby boy already… Not that we would ever prefer one instead of the other as all I want is a healthy baby after what happened to Sebastian. But basically we are over the moon that we have finally found out the sex and that our rainbow baby is a little boy!! ❤

We have had so many scans so far and the midwives at the hospital scanning me haven’t wanted to tell me the gender as they said most mums have to wait until 20 weeks, which is fair enough but yesterday we had our scan with Fetal Medicine (FMU) at St Mary’s in Manchester (where they do a really detailed scan of the brain, heart, limbs, fluid and placenta) and they gave us a 45 minute scan and I have to say I officially fell in love with our baby at this scan. We got to watch him on the screen for all that time, we got to see his face, lips, nose and eyes really close up and we got to see his hands and little feet. It was absolutely magical, watching him snuggle his face into my placenta, already trying to cuddle me was the best thing in the world. It’s safe to say we both got a little teary and had beaming smiles all day after the scan!

So I am now 21 weeks and definitely think that finding out the gender really makes the pregnancy feel real and like there is a real life little person growing inside of you. I just can’t wait to meet him now and hope everything goes smoothly ❤

How LushTums isn’t just a ‘Pregnancy Yoga Class’

So during my first pregnancy with baby Sebastian I wanted to try out a yoga class. At the time though I was still taking part in all my normal high intensity classes at the gym so thought it might be a bit ‘boring’ or a bit to ‘slow’ for what I needed. How wrong I was… looking back I really wished I had taken some time out for my baby and do something a little more gentle and relaxing and also to be around mum’s-to-be.

Before we lost Sebastian I had been to a get together with LushTums in Alderley Edge with the amazing teacher Jai, it was at The Yard and we all chatted and talked about what we are going through, symptoms and what classes we want to try etc. I went along with my friend Sarah who was also pregnant at the time and we had a lovely evening. I really wanted to join these classes but not long after I started to feel quite unwell.. and that was when things took a turn for the worst.

Loosing your baby… no one can explain what it feels like or what it does to you and I can imagine that if I had become close with a few of the ladies at the class I would of found it really hard to keep in touch with them… or even tell the teacher why I hadn’t returned. When I received an email from Jai a few weeks after we had lost Sebastian and no one knew what had happened apart from close friends and family, all she said in the email was

‘Hi, Maria

How are you?’

And that gave me the chance to explain what had happened, she wasn’t emailing me to ask me to sign up to her classes or wonder what I thought about her event.. It was a genuine email and she just wanted to know if I was OK!

By doing this we kept in touch and went for a few coffee’s we cried and laughed and she was able to lead me in the right direction for support and who to chat to when I do get pregnant again. She really helped my mental wellbeing and made me realise IT DOES HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.. even though when it happens to you we think we are the only ones and it does feel like you are the only one!

NOW THAT I AM PREGNANT AGAIN

Now that I am 17 weeks pregnant I really want to start Pregnancy Yoga to try and help relieve my stress and anxieties.. and give me some time to try and bond with my new baby. I no that doing this is easier said that done… as going into a room full of pregnant ladies who are so excited about having their baby when you’re just taking one day at a time and not expecting any particular out come to protect yourself is going to be very hard and emotional. I can just picture myself at the back of the class having a break down and everyone staring at me *laughs*

I know now though that as long as I told the teacher whilst emailing her to sort out which class I can make and how much it is etc.. I can tell her what has happened to me and she will make the class aware so that they don’t have to explain myself to everyone when we are chatting.

Pregnancy classes should be a safe place to go for everyone.. lets face it a lot of women have some type of trouble in the process of creating a human… whether it be struggling to get pregnant, miscarriage, stillbirth or loosing a baby once they are born or even things like struggling with postnatal depression. It isn’t something to be ashamed of either. So if you are worried about taking part in a class just chat to your teacher before hand and I bet you will feel a lot better once they have reassured you that you will have a lovely time in their class.

Check out the LushTums website for everything you need to know and where all the classes are held lushtums.co.uk